e-book Stump Grinder: - A Van Helsing vs. Dracula satire-spoof

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Looking for evidence of suburban discord at the height of the Reagan s? A good place to start is The Stepfather , which associates the image of a grinning, blue-eyed family man—devoted husband and father, morally upstanding, a pillar of the community—with serial murder. But behind closed doors, Jerry has to deal with a normal teenager—and a suspicious one at that—and that drives him crazier than the average father. The film exposes the distance between the families of a campaign commercial and the flawed ones that live in the real word.

The horror of Jerry Blake is that he keeps on believing the former exists.

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When the wheels start to come off at home, Jerry heads to another location to find a different family, repeating the pattern of previous murders. But the change in identity turns out to be confusing to him, too. Featuring both horror legend Lon Chaney, Jr. A stooped-over Virginia dances toward the camera, knives in either hand, with a web-like net between. She then overtakes her victim and cuts off his ear, in a scene that a young Quentin Tarantino surely watched a few times before making Reservoir Dogs.

Horror movies are more than a genre. The more liturgical dimensions of horror cinema, along with the question of why we subject ourselves to—or in some cases derive grisly pleasure from—scary movies are addressed in particularly clever fashion in The Cabin In The Woods. The Cabin In The Woods generates a good amount of humor observing the absolute heartlessness of the people who are controlling the mysterious cabin. That one shot has more laughs than a lot of so-called horror comedies.


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Brian De Palma made his reputation on documentaries and satirical low-budget comedies, but Sisters changed the course of his career, establishing him as a twisted kind of genius at making thrillers. Throughout Sisters , De Palma toys with audience expectations: revealing that a vile act of voyeurism is actually a scene from a TV show, making cake-decorating look sexually suggestive, and turning the real s America of corrupt cops and sick gurus into a ludicrously pulpy B-movie. Filmed on an extremely modest budget, partly at an abandoned Salt Lake City-area amusement park, the film follows Nancy Candace Hilligoss , a car-accident survivor, as she attempts to start over as a church organist in a new town.

There are no special effects involved in either, yet both play like the spirit world exerting its will on reality by pushing on its weak spots. After slowly building tension, Carnival Of Souls makes its first scare count. While driving, Nancy looks out the window, only to see the spectral reflection of the ghoulish man looking back at her.

It gives the film its first, but not last, jarring moment after a period of sustained eeriness. Harvey then alternates between the two approaches to great effect, like a bad dream that waxes and wanes in intensity, but refuses to end.

The vaguely retro production design and wandering structure, which ambled from one set of characters to the next, gave American Sleepover the look and feel of a childhood memory. Its allegorically rich premise involves the passage of a sort of supernatural STD: Once an infected person has sex, they transmit an invisible pursuer, which will continue to stalk its prey to the ends of the earth until it catches and kills them.

But It Follows also works as a heartbreaking story about the lingering effects of trauma. Try as heroine Jay Maika Monroe might to put her abuse behind her, it refuses to leave her alone until she confronts it head-on. She arrives at a beach in the evening; a smash cut reveals her dead, mutilated body the next morning. This is no American sleepover; this is the kind of movie kids watch at an American sleepover to scare themselves silly. Lovecraft source material, and comedy, in ways that effectively disarm some of the more extreme choices.

Herbert West the ever-reliable Jeffrey Combs creates a glowing reagent capable of bringing the dead back to life—or at least turning them into murderous zombies. Or horrifying zombie-cats, depending on their species in life. As his experiments get more out of hand, he decapitates his supervisor, Dr.


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Hill David Gale to protect his secrets. It uses dream logic to blur the line between reality and the dream world, letting Craven create one striking image after another using the stuff of everyday life. As heroine Nancy Heather Langenkamp attempts to flee Freddy by climbing the stairs—already a bad move—her feet sink into them.

That last idea is used to particularly wry effect in Dawn Of The Dead , where the zombies shamble through shopping malls in an eerie re-creation of their earlier, only-slightly-less-brain-dead existence. Free at last to roam, they do what anyone would do in their situation: Shop. They try on clothes and watches, snack on exotic groceries, and even steal thousands of dollars from the bank.

The mall, it turns out, is an important place in their lives, too. In the character study Martin , zombie maestro George Romero transports vampire lore from the realm of the phantasmagorical and European to the mundane, sad, and hopelessly American. In the process, it trades in the castles of Transylvania for the depressing houses and wood paneling of Pittsburgh in the s, and a suave, urbane sexuality for the tortured yearnings of a virgin whose hunger for blood is exceeded by a yearning for human connection so vivid, he pours his heart out to a radio-show host over the airwaves.

Martin occupies a world of soul-sickness and free-floating ennui, drifting into the lives of other strange, sad lost souls. Martin establishes itself as an altogether different type of vampire movie with an opening sequence where the title character stalks a beautiful woman on a train, and begs her to stop screaming while he attempts to subdue her.

The revolutionary sound design—layers and levels of ambient noise that pile on the dread—has drawn attention for decades, and so has the practical effect of the baby-creature, which Lynch is still secretive about to this day. But the stunningly crisp, deep black-and-white cinematography is just as remarkable, and so are the unnerving, overbearing images out of nightmare.

Lynch cuts to his concerned face, then—with a shocking blare of music—back to the baby-thing, which is suddenly hideously coated with black pustules that look like flies on a corpse. Vampire movies tend to fall into one of two categories: Those that play up the gothic romanticism, immersed in atmosphere and the seductive curse of eternal love, or those that are total bloodbaths.

Bigelow manages to honor the spirit of classic vampire iconography while opening up the genre to more modern ambience and bloodletting. Bigelow tells a uniquely fatalistic love story, connecting the passion between them with eternal damnation, and she plays the hellish consequences to the hilt. The famed roadhouse sequence shows the vampire clan at their most vicious. With Henriksen and Bill Paxton, the most venal of the bunch, leading the way, they break up a bar full of roughnecks. It also easily registers as the most divisive and controversial horror film of the decade.

But 15 years and countless imitators, spoofs, and knock-offs later, it holds up surprisingly well. As they move farther and farther away from the comforts of civilized society, the tension builds to almost unbearable levels. The Blair Witch Project offers a master class in inference and suggestion.

But the suggestion that something terrible lurks just around the corner increases and increases, up to the cryptic yet terrifying conclusion. The Blair Witch Project spawned an entire subgenre of found-footage horror films. But time has done little to blunt its primal impact. It drips and then gushes blood from the wall, blasting him with the force of a firehose. And it just keeps coming, from inside the cabin, where inanimate things come mockingly to life, to the woods outside, where it approaches in endless waves.

Evil Dead II brings a few more characters into the mix—most notably the daughter of the professor who discovered and dictated the book—but ultimately, Campbell sets the tone. When the objects in the cabin cackle in unison, he cackles right back; when he gets slapped around, he shakes himself off, Stooges-style, and goes on the attack. Raimi barely lets a second go by without sensation, and for midnight audiences, Evil Dead II plays like an amusement-park ride, whooshing along to screeches and squeals of delight.

For cult moviegoers, Campbell became an icon of slaphappy heroism.

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I still have and watch it on VHS. I don't know what criteria we are using to determine 'bad movies' because some of the ones listed here are some of my favorite movies Twister, Star Wars , but one I haven't seen mentioned, and one I can't help but watch anytime it's on, is a Vince Vaughn movie called dodgeball. If, however, you refer to the masterpiece with David Niven, then it evidently needs to be said again: This is a good film, and inarguably the only James Bond film worth watching. Apparently you agree with me that it's worth watching hence your post , which mitigates any distress I may be feeling towards you upon having read your contribution.

Stand tall when you say that, my friend. HTD is nowhere near as bad as most think, you just have to roll with the crazy. The diner scene alone makes it worth watching, but it also has scantily-dressed-and-young Lea Thompson. I just remembered The Arrival with Charlie Sheen.

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Fun Sci-Fi! Yes, but the topic is films that are enjoyed even though they are bad. The Arrival was a good film. I own all of them :D. I'm all in with Independence Day, Roadhouse - watch whenever I see them cruise by on a rainy day. I also love Robin Hood with Kevin Costner - delightfully bad with humor. Look at it as kind of a violence parody. It was decent, but we've also had people mention Boogie Nights and Big Trouble in Little China, and surely other truly great films.

I have been debating on whether or not I should admit this in public. My foolish side has obviously conquered any sense of embarassment I may feel so just I'll come out with it - I love Iron Eagle. I'll be here for another couple of hours should you feel like pointing at me and laughing.

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Con Air. I watch it every time it comes on, and I still don't know why. I don't even like Nicolas Cage, but I adore this movie. Van Helsing, which is mess with its CGI, and I still wonder what Kate Beckinsale was doing in it other than being female seriously, what was her role supposed to be? Because she did very little.

I still love it, even with the hammy Dracula that's what I love about this version!

Oh, man. So many movies, and so many that people have already mentioned.